Ben: …rises in slow motion. Ride of the Valkyries begin playing somewhere on a vinyl record as he whips out his Tommy paintball Gun and lets his blue balls fly. The Studebaker explodes in a rush of color. Jaselyn peers out over the car but can’t see Ben. Oh wait, there he is, running along the sides of the walls, matrix style, flanking her to the right. He somersaults on top of the much abused Studebaker and directs his shots straight down at Jaselyn.
Blue paint balls splat everywhere but their intended target. Because of all that running, his glasses fell off and now he can’t see a darn thing. Suddenly Jaselyn strikes with a wicked sidekick and Ben’s legs are no longer under him. He rolls to the other side of the Studebaker. Side view: two figures silhouetted against streetlights, both holding guns, leaning against opposite sides of the same car. March of the Valkyries stops and somewhere a quiet Flamenco guitar begins to strum…
Sugie looks at her partner’s acrobatics in mild bemusement. Slinky as a cat, she slips from behind the dumpster and…
“Lets his blue balls fly”
…since her partner takes on powers from the Matrix, she does him a solid and takes on powers from Harry Potter. Picks up his broken glasses and with a quick “reparo” and that cleaning spell, hands them back to him as good as new.
WHILE she raises her giant multi-colored, self-refilling (Harry Potter remember?) paintball gun and fires straight at Jaselyn.
She does not miss.
But Angela and Edward run out of the alley, after God knows what kinds of negotiations have gone on, and before waiting to see what has transpired, Sugie grabs Ben’s hand and pulls him behind a Lincoln Town Car (and if they weren’t around in 1946, it’s a time-traveling Town Car) because that Studebaker isn’t going to be able to take much more.
After checking to see if each other is (are?) okay, Ben and Sugie jump up and shoot maniacally at the three other paintballers.
Who are WAY closer than they should have been. What powers have THEY brought into the game to move so fast? Oh, God, they’re not going to start sparkling when the sun finally comes up, are they?
Jaselyn: While Ben and Sugie were busy checking one another for injuries, Jaselyn had grabbed Angela and Edward each by one hand after slinging her paintball gun over her back with some sort of strange anachronistic holster. She pulls them along, running towards the Town Car.
“Computer!” she shouts. “Initiate super-speed subroutine!”
“Super-speed subroutine initiated,” a smooth female voice intones, and suddenly Jaselyn, Angela, and Edward are moving at speeds that no human could dare to dream of.
“Angela!” Jaselyn says through gasps of air, “grab a grenade and let’s get this party started! Edward–put down the ham sandwich!”
Edward: ‘Is this magic mustard” Edward asks opening the mustard and squeezing some on his ham sandwich “Woman you’re a life safer “
Two bites and the soggy sandwich disappeared. Suddenly a bright light erupts from his body, he starts to do the dougie (a stupid dance that the youngsters do)
After a few seconds of dancing, he looks at Angela” LETS GO KICK SOME BUTT” he yells as power flows through him” The New Orleans Saints lost today”
Tears running down his face he grabs Angela by the waist and jumps high into the sky. Being the Pro that she is Angela aims at Ben Head as we fly over “put put put” Her gun rings out.
Ben still on that matrix kick easily dodges.
We land a few feet from Ben position” First you mess up my suit and now the saints lose” Edward says letting Angela go and rearming himself with his paintball guns” It’s on now”
The area turns into a turret of activity as Ben and Edward move across the alley. Moving faster than the eyes could follow, they battle, firing paintballs at each other.
Out of nowhere, Ben pulls out a ham sandwich and throws it into the air. A twisted smile playing across his face, he had found my weakness.
How, I thought as I reach for the sandwich. Instantly my back is peppered by paintballs. The paintballs turning the back of my black suit multi-colored like the front of my suit.
As I drop to one knee looking at the ham sandwich, a thought runs through my mind” ANGELA YOU STILL GOT THAT MUSTARD” I yell at her. “And, Jaselyn, see if they got a Starbucks close by. I NEED SOMETHING TO DRINK!”