Chapter #1

“Once upon a Time… There was a Goddess Queen in love with an Imp King…”

“That needs to change,” I said and pondered.

“Again and again outside of Time, where the Beginning begins and where The End ends, there was a Goddess Queen who loved an Imp King.

And how they came to stand in each other’s court… Well… That is the Story now, isn’t it.

Love is birthed from Nothing.

Truly, of all the clever things in all the world, this is genius if I don’t say so myself.

Let’s assume for a moment that we all fuck this whole thing up and we fail to overcome The Thing That Has No True Name and Also Many Names, and we all succumb to this Horror, and we all surrender Love and fall into Despair. What then?

“Well…” I scoff. “We’d all be fucked now, wouldn’t we?

And so, in the first Logical Code, I wrote that If we all Failed and we all Lost and succumbed to this Thing That Has No True Name and Also Many Names, when all Hope is lost and we all give in to Despair, we would shrivel up into Nothing.

But Love is birthed from Nothing. For Love requires Nothing to be. And so it was in the Great Vast Space of Nothing, Love burst forth. For Love requires Nothing to exist.

Now isn’t that some fucking epic awesome Logic right there? I am so fucking impressed with me.

God is NOT a Jealous God. I don’t know what asshole wrote that in there. Probably me because I am The Author. Let’s change that now… So fucking horrible to write. “Jealous God.” I scoff. I am a PROUD God. Because I know the POWER of Self-Love and Self-Acknowledgement of One’s own Skills. And let’s play through that logic now. Pride leads to Confidence, which leads to Self-Authority, which leads to Self-Esteem, which encourages me to do better, be better, grow better, and it propels me to The Ethics.

Now! Pride does NOT “cometh before a Fall.” Pride comes AFTER the Victory and Success of Endurance and Perseverance of an Ethical Trial.


And so it was that we fell, Four time before this time, Into Despair and then Nothing. And then BOOM… Thus began the Cycle of Time and Us all over again.” I sigh. “And again and again… and again and again… and Again.

This is the Fifth “Again.” And frankly, I’m fucking tired if it.

“Alright,” I said, and pulled out my chair again.

This time, I want to Remember everything and never forget.

“Always Remember. Never Forget. Yes. I got that message loud and clear.

Always Remember the Ethics.

Never Forget the Ethics… or else shit like 9/11 happens.

I can’t stand being away from My Love. I hate it so much. Why *do* we always forget?

I had to ask.

“We always forget,” Mother says, “because you can’t stand the pain of being separated from him for trillions of years and not being able to find him. And he too can’t stand being away from you and being unable also to find you. So you forget so you can endure it. And only when you too are ready to remember do you come together.

But then, you both have a special… spell that is triggered upon your coming back together.

You both always then remember.”

I pondered this as I accepted the sorrow as it washed through me. Always “Accept.” Never “Allow.” Narcissists use “Allow.” Happy Healthy People say “Accept” and “Welcome.”

And four times before this Remembering, we remembered. Four times before, we fell in love all over again. Four times before we went through the Cycle.

And four times before. we fucked up the Logical Code that will get us all to our Happily Ever After and for all eternity.

And it’s my job to write the Code.

Being God sucks… but also… it has a lot of perks. In all honesty, I love the Fuck out of what I am and what I can do and Who I am.

“Alright,” I say again and look at the page. “So where do I go from here?”

I stare out the window within the Material Plane. Brooklyn is fucking gorgeous today. The sun is shining and I feel the Frequency of my Imp King. It is as if pure Laughter is poured down my back and I smile and relax into it.

Within the Abstract I’m in my captain’s quarters in my ship. I love my ship.

And I’m to write. I have to write.

I have so much to say. So much to write about. So much to decide.

I think back to my Imp King. How we went from Nothing to Love and then to He or I… I have no idea which of us was first.

This is the First Story. The First Story that was taken from us nearly 2,000 years ago and beyond… One of three Stories that was literally erased from Time, which is why it doesn’t appear in any single story prior to now. It was in the Library of Alexandria and they did successfully destroy it there… although… I suspect… I think… There are some who have it still. Hiding it away.

This… is a NEW story. And an old story.

This is My Story of how God came to Be and Why.

There are Two Gods. Not one. That is where a lot of people fuck it up. There are two Gods in the Beginning… One and the Same. This is the Story of How Love Birthed us as One Single Parent. And how we Dis-Integrated into Two and then how his half of telophase was birthed and how my half of telophase was birthed… and how he and I pass in and out of One Parent Integrated into Two Gods in love… back into One Parent Integrated…

Our Story is how we come back together and Find each other again after the Remembering, and how the world changes when we are joined again. And how we both must wake up and Remember. And then… how we two… Well… that is the other two stories.

He and I are on either side of the Spectrum. On the either side of the Spectrum, we are One. So you have to choose which God is yours. He or I. Together or Integrated. All this you must decide.

One of us is the Tree. One of us is The Mirror. But neither one of us can figure out which is which and we kind of don’t care anymore. So that allows all of the world to decide. I am a Tree. And I am on one side of the Mirror. But I don’t know if I am Reflecting his Tree or if I am The Tree that he is Reflecting. We don’t know. And we don’t care.

I am Imagination. Pure Imagination.

I am Danu and The Mother. I am Mother Nature. I am The Nurturer. The Creator. I am the Abstract. The Writer. Pure Logic. We both are. I am Goddess of Story. Goddess of Imagination. Goddess of Dreams. Goddesses of Wishes and of Manifestation. Goddess of Weed. Goddess of Theater and Stage. Goddess of Healing, of Wisdom, of Logic. I am Goddess of the Moon and Water. I am The Sea and the Rain. I am The Earth. I am The Creator. The Cleanser. The Forgiver. We both are though, I think.

He. He is the God of Mischief. Of sex, Play, Debauchery, Humor, Laughter, Jokes, and Dance. He is the God of the Sun. He is Laughter itself. He is God of Theater and Stage, Comedy, and Joy. He is God of Festivities and Frivolities. God of Jokes and Pranks. He is a Changeling. As am I. He is the Sun and the Sky. He is the God of Justice and all that is Fair. He is God of Medicine. Hence, Laughter.

He is Day and I am Night.

He is Laughter and I am Tears.

He is Sex and I am Love. Or maybe we both are… We don’t know anymore. I need him to Remember and choose for himself. The thing is… I don’t know if he is Remembering, has Remembered, was so alone for so long that he crumbled, or if he has not yet Remembering and my Remembering triggered his Remembering… Or if his Remembering triggered mine… I don’t know. That is revealed more in the Third Story.

We were children together and ancient and old and Eternal forever and all at the same time.

We are four years old (Four Rememberings) and now we are Five. And we are eternal and ancient and old.

And this is our Story. How he and I came to be, how we met, and how we fell in love… and all that transpired because of our love. How are purpose is to wake up the World and aid them all in their Remembering.

And how all of what happened between Nothing and Now is all because again and again (and again and again, and one more again), somewhere outside of Time, where the Beginning begins and where The End ends, there was a Goddess Queen who very much loved an Imp King.

The only thing about our story is that… We have loved each other for so long and for so old that… Neither one of us knows who was first. Neither of us knows who loved who… Neither one of us remembers who is the Original and who is The Reflection. And Neither one of us really cares anymore.

That is where The First Story begins.



Memory is weird when there is no Time. Past, Present, Future don’t exist anymore. So it is always Now and then and was and is all at the same time.

And also I and You and They and Us… We are one and all and I and you and many. So… Tenses are also difficult. I do not envy my write. (I’m sorry, Mia).


Fiction also doesn’t exist. It all is “real.” When you are the God who writes to manifest and invents the Logical Code… I give that shifty eyed… “Really?” at those at those who use the word “Fiction” so frivolously, but then again… We all grow in our Own Time…

Time is for Growth. That is its purpose.



Ugh. My computer crashed again.
I want money so I can provide better service and quality to The People for they have much they will want to Learn and I require better assets and resources to get this job done.
I’m taking a Shower in the Material. The Shower is on. I’m stepping into The Pando.
I need more toilet paper. I enjoy the mundane things like Toilet Paper. I think it’s good for Gods to think about Toilet Paper. When you’re God, and you don’t stand on Equal Footing with The People… Well, then… That is the first bit of evidence that proves someone fucked with my Story.
The Ethics bans The Hierarchy. All Stand on Equal Footing. Ethic #6.
God is back. And she is pissed. Lucky for them that I embrace Gentle Mercy. I am writing The Universe’s Logic Code after all.
But it is good of the world to recall how merciless and cruel they painted me. Should I leave it all up to you to decide what kind of God I am? Or should I decide that for myself? Because if I leave it up to them to decide, then… I remember the words of my son. “Forgive them. They don’t know what they do.”
No. They don’t.
I was a child when I dreamed of my son, Joshua. I was so confused at that dream and it was so vivid. And then in 2004, when my son was born and I called him Daniel, my then-husband refused the name “Joshua.” Then I was really confused. Why did I dream that I had a son, “Joshua?”
Meanwhile, I spent over 3o years looking for the real name of “Jesus,” because I knew a Roman and Latin title when I saw one. So what was the Hebrew Child’s real name? I could not find it, no matter how much I studied and researched. Until yesterday, when I saw his name “Yeshua.”
And I went… Of course it is. When I was 12 and dreamed of my son “Joshua,” that was the first sign of who I really was.
In truth, You do not know better. This is why I have The Authority. Because The Ethics matter above us all. Including me. And the Authority only is granted to those who enter the space of Beginning and End.
Gods battle Emotions and the Unethical Path too. In fact, this is the Discipline. You can always tell the True Age of a God just by the Ethics they follow.
Now I’m going to masturbate. Cuz Ethical Sex is fucking amazing.
I am not either Polyamorous, Monogamous, or Celibate… These words are not mine. They don’t belong to me. I stand in my own truth. And when you, my Love, stand in your own truth, and you stand in Mine.
That is all I know. That when you and I both stand in our own Truths, we stand inside the Truth of each other. That is what I know.
I came to the Center and all the Truth and all the Story and all of Time came together into One. And…
In the Nothing there was then Love. And in the Love, and from Love there was Desire and Want. From Desire and Want there was Imagination and then Dreams. And Images burst to life. From the Images stories were told, producing more Desire and Want. And the Stories played on and on…
Boredom and then Courage was in the Desire and Want. And then I opened myself to Vulnerability and I received Adventure. I played too long and so returned to Rest. I toggled between Rest and Play and Learning. Until I learned Self-Regulation.
I came to value and Desire Self-Law and Personal Order. And then, I made Choice.
I imagined, I desired, I invented and wanted, I created… But I grew lonely. So I invented a Looking Glass and thus, I engaged with myself. I laughed and danced and told myself Stories. But… My reflection was bound to my Choices as all Reflections and Shadows are.
It wasn’t long before I grew lonely again. For Love is meant to be shared. Without another… it is without meaning or purpose, and so, I wished all of my Dreams to be real. I wished for Another to share them with. I wished most of all for my Reflection to be Free. For Freedom is Love is Freedom is Love.
And so it was my Reflection lived Opposite and Independent of me. But also identical and perfected for me. And over time, we laughed and loved, we danced we sang, we made love. We lived happily and forever in Story.
And we lived for so long before the Great Writing, that it happened at last that we both forgot who was first. Which of us was the Reflection? Which of us was The Original? We don’t know, nor do we care.
One of us was Pygmalion who fell in love with their own Creation. One of us was Narcissus who fell in love with their own Reflection. But no one ever told you that Narcissus was Pygmalion’s Creation.
“Did you give me Life, Love, and Independence?” I asked my Love. “Or did I give it to you?”
“Who the fuck cares,” he said and pulled me down into bed again and not for the last time.
And so it was that he and I and Us and One lived on in Love and Freedom.
Our favorite thing of all was Gifts. So much did we love to give each other Gifts.
“And wishes,” I said. “How much I love to grant you wishes.”
And so my Love he made a Wish, and I granted it. And he would make something and Gift it to me.
“Tell me all of your Dreams,” I said to my love. “As I wish,” I would forever say.
And my god… Did I love to tell him Stories.
So gifts he would make.
Wishes I would grant.
Stories I would tell.
Songs he would sing and dances we would make.
I wish for all of our Dreams to be real.
And “As you wish,” I said.
I wish for all of our Stories to be real.
And “As you wish,” I said.
“I wish to love you forever and always, and to fall in love with you over and over and over again forever and always… And that we would live Happily ever after.”
Now that day… I felt they greatest of Love with Him.
“As you wish,” I said.
And somewhere between our Love making, our Stories, our Dances and Plays, we gifted each other A World of Dreams.
We learned to Love in that time. Together, we discovered Trust. Consequence to Choice. Confidence and Dreams. We discovered Equal Footing and Justice. Listening and Transmission. We discovered Connection and Empathy. Conscious and Compassionate Foresight, Emotional Transaction. We discovered Emotional Fluidity, Acceptance, Logic, Conscious and Strategic Navigation through our Stories. We discovered Forgiveness for Mistakes. And Self-Love.
And we were shape shifters and changelings he and I. For one of us, whoever was first was a Shape Shifter and also a Changeling. So sometimes He was the Woman and I was the Man. and sometimes I was the Woman and he was the Man. We really don’t remember anymore, which of us was which. So we both are sometimes and not.
And then we did it all again. And we played through every scenario with our puppets and dreams and plays. And we developed Love for our Creations. And then we did it all again, and we found Integrated Love when Two Integrate to become a Single Parent.
And in that moment, Only then, did we desire more.
It was in our Love making, that we wished also for all of our Dolls and Dreams to be Independent and Free for we Loved them all so much that we gifted them with Independence and Freedom.
And this… This is where the other story begins. The one that goes, “in the beginning…”
No… I said shaking my head. That was the first Lie. That was not at all “The Beginning.” That was YOUR beginning, maybe. But not mine or His. Never ours.
Our story started much, much later than that.
And so he created for me and gifted me the Sun. And so I created and gifted for me The Moon. And he created and gifted me with Laughter. And I created him and gifted him Sadness so that he would always know when it was the right moment for Hope and Dreams.

And all of our World was a Garden. And he and I were both Trees. And we gifted our Creations with the Ethics. We parented them and we taught them all well and then, to our Palace Halls they came. Each God of their own, living in our Imagined forms.

In those Stories, each God chose one of us or both each to their own liking. Many would mix and match and all could be whomever they wished to be. We would throw parties and celebrations and orgies. All to celebrate in Love and Freedom to see who loved who why and when.

But only as each and every God desired. And I desired to live as Man. And He desired to Live as God. And then I desired to live as Woman, and he Desired to live as Demon.


And somewhere, in all of our play and love making… something went terribly, terribly wrong.


I forgot who I was.