This is a Tangent I break off into the review of Broken. It is so long, I created a new post. Here is the review of Frozen if you wish to see.
I grew up watching women in my area joke, laugh, kid about “changing” their husbands. “Training a man.” It was the one message… the one lesson that was openly taught to daughters by their mothers. Women teach this lesson to their daughters in the hair salon, in the nail salon, in the grocery store, via gossip on the phone. I LOATHE gossip. Detest it. Daughters listen to their mother’s when they say “Oh, well… you just need to change him” to their friends. I grew up hearing this. And loathing this.
I am pulling this quote from Wikipedia:
Kristen Anderson-Lopez talked about the song’s inspiration:
Well honestly the inspiration for that is Bobby [husband Robert Lopez]. When we were first dating, I used to talk about him to my girlfriends as like he’s a bit of a fixer-upper. He lived with his parents but I was in love with him. I knew I was gonna marry him but he lived with his parents, he didn’t have a job. He was writing this crazy, puppet musical [Avenue Q] and so the word, fixer-upper, has always been in my lexicon.
Robert Lopez further elaborated on the song’s context within the musical:
When we realized that Kristoff was going to have this relationship with the trolls which was kind of the key discovery we realized that it was kind of like okay, he’s bringing this girl that he’s not dating home to this big, ruckus family and they’re gonna misinterpret the situation. So we thought oh, gee it’s gotta have that kind of New York dating song cabaret feel and so that’s how the music kind of came about.
And that is exactly my point. In some cases, women think the man needs “fixing up.” Avenue Q by the way is a HUGE HIT! And is Awesome!! This guy wasn’t a “loser” and didn’t need “fixing up.” And the concept does not belong to this woman. It is normal where I’m from and the concept is disgusting.
For six years, I worked in a children’s store with 30+ women and no men. I had to hear the “bathroom” conversations about how men are “clueless” and how men need to be “fixed” every day for six years from every kind of woman that came in there.
I used to talk about him to my girlfriends as like he’s a bit of a fixer-upper.
Women do this. I have an issue with it! In some cases the women go on to “slap” men who wouldn’t dare hit a woman back. I need to stay away from this topic here. It’s a touchy subject and I’ll rant in a different post about this. Here is the post.
I’ve hung out with men. I know men! See Broken. I studied men. Learned them. Idolized men. Men don’t do this! Men make a point of not talking about their wives/girlfriends ever. Now the ex? *chuckles with a smile* The ex is fair game and usually is accompanied by a beer and a video game. Some times a strip club. But if a man hates the woman he is with, or is generally annoyed with her, he wants to FORGET that crap when he hangs with his friends. Men don’t gossip or trash their mate. They don’t want to be riled up.
“Everything a’right?” a friend may ask.
“Yah,” he may say, “I’m cool. Just women crap is all.” and the dude friend will say. “Yep. I hear ya. Wanna order a pizza?”
That’s it! Oh! The man will speak up when he says, “I’m gonna ask her to marry me.” That’s the other thing men will talk about. And the psycho-bitch. You know the kind. the woman who thinks a handshake is a marriage proposal. The guy knows he has to dump her, but how do you arm yourself of the psycho-bitch? Then the guy consults his friend. “Dude! I can’t get rid of this psycho-bitch. I’m dumped her five times, but she just isn’t getting it.” The dude friend is then consulted for advice.
So to see this song encouraging my daughters to do what I already grew up seeing… To “change” their man. That a man needs “fixing.” It makes me sick. I won’t let my daughters watch this crap. It isn’t right.